21st-Century Menajahtwa

Written by

Janis Todd-Randall, BA, MA, EMBA

Stupidbubble Founder

Welcome to your 21st-Century Menajahtwa.

It’s you, your partner, and that clingy rectangle that never leaves your side. Your Phone Is Ruining Your Love Life. Let’s get real: you’re not just in a relationship with your partner.

You’re in a whole menajahtwa  You. Them. And that glowing rectangle you can’t keep your hands off. 

Your phone is basically your sugar momma, sugar daddy, sugar baby, hell, call it what you want to. It's like your emotionally manipulative ex that never really goes away. It’s the third wheel in your bed, the silent killer at your dinner table, and the emotional vampire in your passenger seat. And the saddest part? You invited it in. 

When Did We Get So Damn Comfortable With This?

Your phone gets more attention than your partner’s face. Don’t believe it?
Check your screen time stats and tell me you’re not giving social media more foreplay than you give your person.

The bedroom used to be a place for real connection — now it’s a wireless charging station. You used to touch each other — now you just stroke glass screens on your side of the bed while your partner rolls over and wonders when you’ll notice they exist.

Date Night? More Like Scroll Night.

Let’s talk about that fancy dinner date you planned. Candles. Appetizers. Maybe a reservation you actually had to wait for. But there you are, head down, scrolling instead of talking.

Your partner’s telling a story but you’re deep in your feed, nodding like you care while you’re double-tapping a meme. Or worse — posting a pic of your meal with a caption about “#DateNightVibes.” The irony? There are no vibes. You’re a zombie. Table for three: you, your partner, and your phone.

Even the Car Ain’t Safe

Remember when car rides were about singing off-key together? Or having weird, deep, life-changing convos? Now you just sit in the same metal box, staring at your phone screens, every chance you get. Pretending you’re “bonding” while Spotify does all the heavy lifting.

You say you want connection — but you keep outsourcing your attention to people you’ll never meet, content you’ll forget tomorrow, and notifications that aren’t half as important as the human next to you.

Let’s Call It What It Is: Your sneaky side piece

Yeah, I said it! Your phone is basically your side piece — except your partner knows about it. They see you stroking its screen, laughing at its jokes, giving it your undivided attention while they get the leftovers.

You can’t blame the phone — it didn’t force itself into your bed. You did that.
You gave it the same sacred access you swore to protect for the person you say you love. And then you wonder why your relationship feels dry. Hell, you’ve got a whole digital affair going on — no wonder the real thing is neglected.

It’s Not the Phone — It’s You

Look, this isn’t about smashing your iPhone with a hammer (though, dramatic). This is about calling out the truth: the device didn’t ruin your vibe — your lack of boundaries did.

You crave that dopamine hit — the pings, the likes, the endless scroll — more than you crave real intimacy. Because real connection? That’s messy. That takes presence. That means putting your damn phone face down for once.

Time to Set Some Boundaries With Your Sneaky Side Piece

Here’s how you reclaim your relationship:
💥 No phones in the bedroom — plug it in across the room and put it on silent.
💥 No phones at the table — talk, even if it’s awkward at first.
💥 No phones in the car — playlist on, screens down, voices up.

Treat your partner like the main course again instead of a stale side dish you barely touch between scrolls.

Final Swipe

So yeah, you’re in a menajahtwa. And until you set some boundaries with that clingy rectangle, your human connection is gonna suffer. You don’t need a digital detox retreat in the woods — you just need a backbone and some self-respect.

You said you wanted love? Then act like it. Because your phone may light up your face, but your partner lights up your life — if you’d just look up long enough to notice.

📱🔥 So, what’s your worst “my phone ruined the vibe” story? Confess in the comments. Then, for the love of all things real — PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN.

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